It is just one more chapter in the tortured legacy of the Democratic Party.  One more example of the crazed fixation to European Socialists policies that propel its headlong rush to drive every remnant of small independent business out of the already anemic private sector of the State of Maine.  The Democratic Party disdains small business; especially, the small two to three man construction businesses that work throughout the North Woods.  I am one of these dastardly businesses and so are some of my closest friends.

They call it LeadSmart and, although there is nothing safe about it for the Maine economy, it is sure full of leaden dead weight.  I speak of Augusta’s illustrious “Squeeze every last penny out of the residents and send small business packing” program.  They call it LeadSmart.

It started with a desire to protect residents from concentrated airborne dust particles, which result from extended sanding on leaden paint, specifically for interior renovation situations.  You will never believe this, but the Democrats got a hold of this and decided to regulate it up the Ye Olde Borestone Mountain.  Now it has reached a tipping point.

Some years ago, I sat through a …captivating (ahem), some would say enthralling training seminar, in Augusta (where else), on LeadSmart construction practices.  Part of the session dealt with the dangers, or should I say danger, singular, of lead paint.  You see you can walk up to a wall painted with lead paint and lick it, if you wish, and it won’t hurt you.  It’s intact.  A chip of lead paint could float through the air, somehow lodge in your mouth, and, if by chance you lacked the reflex to spit it out, should you swallow it, that wouldn’t hurt you either; save for the painful excursion through your intestinal tract as it meanders the way towards its final culmination.  The paint chip is intact.  You can look at lead and it won’t hurt you.  You can speak to lead and it won’t hurt you.  This is a comforting thought when in close proximity to Democrats, though I’m not sure they are intact.

The only time lead paint becomes dangerous is when it is sanded into microscopic dust particles and can be breathed.  It is no longer intact and can become part of the breathing apparatus and the blood stream of a human being.  This is the danger of lead paint as I was taught at this seminar.  I may have embellished the intestinal tract thing.

Well, years ago, much to the chagrin of the Democrats, these “dumb backwoods” contractors had a simple solution to this problem.  Don’t sand the paint off!  Scrape it off, peel it off, throw it in trash bags, and be done with it!  Democrats would have none of that.  Mainers were being much too resilient, there was not a sufficient enough burden on the taxpayer, and businesses have not been punished as severely as they could be.  So now our friends from the DeadWeight program, I mean, LeadSmart program have come up with some new regulations with a twist.

My friend, who wishes to remain anonymous, recently spoke with another contractor friend who had come from the latest LeadPants, I mean, LeadSmart meeting.  Some of the latest regulations are if you disturb paint on a pre 1970’s dwelling anywhere, interior or exterior, it becomes a LeadSmart construction site.  The construction area then must be quarantined with poly panel zippered vapor barriers.  You think us little guys can afford those?  We can’t.  So, you the customer will have to.  Oh, here’s another brilliant regulation.  If the wind gusts over 20 mph, the job site must be shut down.  Now, were in the state of Maine can a man even work?!!

If I, the contractor, am shingling your roof on your camp on Sebec Lake and my ladder disturbs a flake of paint on your fascia trim it becomes a LeadBrain, I mean, LeadSmart construction site.  Now if the wind decides to blow across Sebec Lake, which it does EVERY DAY, I’m done, shut down, can’t work.  The Democrats like the sound of that…can’t work.  Now you need nanny government.

Of course, the Demosocialist need someone to enforce these new laws.  They are looking for, I kid you not, out of work contractors to inform on their fellow contractors.  There haven’t been many takers, though.  In Massachusetts, yes, Massachusetts, there has been a whopping one, in Maine, to date, none.  Citizens informing on their fellow citizens, it has always been the crowning achievement of socialists.  Maybe Maine contractors realize there is a new danger of lead poisoning, its called buckshot in the backsides as you’re running away from an angry construction crew.

I have much more to say on this and the Hallmark achievements from the Democratic Party leadership that Governor Johnny “LeadThoughts” Baldacci said had better candidates and better ideas.  I will save it for next week.  Hopefully, in November of 2010 there will be fewer lead sinkers poisoning Augusta.

This may come as a shock to some, but this columnist has a low opinion of the liberal policies of the Democratic Party.  With its repeated blunders, you would think democratic leaders and candidates would be teeming with wisdom acquired from the multiplicity of failures.  So we wait with baited breath as the Democrats reveal their campaign strategy.  Surely with past experience and knowledge gained, our liberal friends will acknowledge their misguided ways and chart a new course toward smaller government, embracing the truths of Conservatism…or not.

You see, Conservatives, common sense Americans, view failures as an opportunity to learn.  It is a time to change our ways and not repeat missteps.  Not so with the Democratic Party; instead, failures are just merely another wasted, foggy chapter hidden in the nether of oblivion that is the Democratic policy machine.

So we are back to the unveiling.  What a shock!  It’s the same old song and dance.  It’s the one hundred dollar safe bet, entry level question on the game show “So You Want to Waste a Billion Dollars”.

Question #1 for Billions of dollars in debt: What are the Democratic policies from the past 35 years of power?

Answer #1: We need more government programs, extensive environmental regulations, and more regulation on business, higher taxes and wrap it all in mandates.  When Augusta can’t pay for it, local townships will be forced to raise property taxes.

Question #2 for absolute bankruptcy: Now that you, the Democratic Party, have won your billions of dollars in debt, how do you propose to solve this crisis?

Answer #2: We need more government programs, extensive environmental regulations, and more regulations on business, higher taxes and wrap it all in mandates because there’s now way Augusta can pay for it.  So, please raise property taxes.

Question #3 for finally turning Maine into a fiscal wasteland:  If the voters of Maine begin to realize the Democratic party is no longer the Party of the working class, but, instead, the Party of trust fund elites, how will you change your policies to regain their trust?

Answer #3: We need more government programs, extensive environmental regulations, and more regulations on business, higher taxes and wrap it all in mandates because we have no idea how to pay for it.  Please raise property taxes.

It might be funny if it wasn’t so true.  Democratic candidates in this county and across the State of Maine are kicking off their campaigns with this phrase, “We need government…” Frankly, I prefer to say, “We do not need government.”

Mainers are beginning to see the truth for themselves.  You can only lie to Maine people for so long and then it’s time for retribution.  The Piscataquis Democrats were barely able to muster twenty people at their caucus; while, the Republicans filled the County Courthouse to capacity.

A friend of mine, who is a former gun dealer, received a phone call from an individual wishing to purchase a gun.  After this friend informed the man he no longer sold guns, he asked him what it was needed for.  Come to find out, the Piscataquis Democrats wanted to purchase a gun for a fund raising raffle.  You don’t say…hmmm.

Isn’t it strange that a Party that wishes to outlaw guns wants to buy one to raise funds?  Why would that be?

Perhaps it’s because the Democrats know they need money from the Conservatives.  They can’t raise it from their own.  The life-sized cardboard cutouts of Barack and Michelle have begun to fade in the window.  So now, as usual, the Democrats have to raise money through deceit and off the hard working backs of Conservatives.

Finally, my friend, who wishes to remain anonymous, recently informed me that he, through extensive research in the hallowed annals of Maine history, has discovered that an old Maine term for Democrat is “Crittah”.  Well, I think it’s time to declare an open season on “Crittah’s”.