Winter has been reluctant to release its icy seasonal grip on Maine to Spring this year and gardeners, such as this columnist, have had to brave the elements at times to prepare our rows and beds for planting.  All winter long, the majority of North-Central Maine’s residents look forward with anticipation to the thawing of winter’s bonds and the opportunity to once again engage in the activities we all love so much here in Maine.  It’s time for the garden tools to reemerge.  The fishing rods and tackle to come clambering out of storage to ply the depths of these northern lakes in search of the one that got away or at least catch something that validates that whopping lie…er…I mean, “story” you told last year.   With shovels, rakes and wheelbarrows in tow, we march forward bravely to retake our lawns from all the “revelations” that appeared from beneath the melting snow.  (You’d think the dog could just walk a few feet more behind the bushes….or…. somewhere…out of respect…you know…really?  But I digress.)   Some of us are starting to get back to work, finally, despite Laura Fortman and a $60,000 taxpayer funded mural to herself….but, I digress….again.  All in all, it would seem there is a collective sigh of relief that this winter is finally over.  Now, if we could just get these recurring snow squalls to cut it out, we could complete the thawing process.

But not everybody is so thrilled to see Piscataquis, Somerset, Penobscot and Aroostook residents began to stretch the long dormant joints of industry again.  You see, for some, this is a dark foreboding of terrible things in store.  With every clump of sod that a spade turns, mother earth is wounded.  With every limb trimmed from a tree, she screams from the brutal torture.  The Bio-Diversity is immeasurably shaken from increased automobile traffic from those humans working, wounding the bio-sphere along with the inevitable up tick in bovine flatulence as much of the dairy cattle are liberated from their winter stalls.  Which begs the question, why do cows get picked on for their emission issues?  What about equine flatulence?  Have you ever been stuck in a stall with a horse when it….yeah?  How come Trigger gets a pass on the flatulence tax?  The cow flatulence tax bill must have died in committee… or… did the committee die when the herd of cattle was brought into chambers to study the impact their emission problems had on the environment.  I’m sure the committee was floored by the revelations.

Yes, I’m mocking the Bio-Diversity crowd.  Some of you might be wondering why I’m fixated on a treaty from 1992.  The United States refused to sign on.  It’s over, right?  Weeeeelll, not really.  The United Nations is making another run at it.  The President in 1992, although liberal, had a semblance of respect for the American political system.  This President has no respect for the checks and balances of our democracy.  This is Bio-Diversity’s big chance.

But we have a Republican majority in Augusta.  They wouldn’t allow this, right?  Weeell, not really.  You see there are some moderate to liberal legislators in the Republican Party who capitalized on, yes used, the Tea Party fervor to gain power, but have been unwilling to sever their allegiances to the Democrat Party and tether them to the secure mooring of the people of Maine.  Senator Katz and the Liberal Eight thought it better to write an op-ed admonishing the Governor to attend finishing school rather than do the people’s business.  Now, instead of helping to promote the Governor’s budget, Senator Katz is promoting a bill, which would reduce the size of the House of Representatives.  Now which parts of Maine do you think liberals would prefer to not get representation?  Hmmm….I have a map from that 1992 Bio-Diversity treaty and guess which parts of Maine have to be purged of  “ignorant humans”?  Yeah, all of Piscataquis, Somerset, Washington and, parts of, Aroostook counties.  I’m sure there is no connection.  There is a large portion of the political elite class who thinks that these parts of Maine should be made into one big park and chucks all us “ignorant humans” out so that the “wiser humans” can heal this land.  Is it connected?  Probably not intentionally, I hope not.

So how do we stop this nonsense?  First we call our legislators and tell them to kill LD40.  Then, we work to bring power back to the local level.

Representative Paul Davis has a bill that will give the power to govern the land use regulatory issues back to County Commissioners.   This bill is simply common sense, the application of which has come to be viewed by Democrats and moderate Republicans as an abhorrent and deviant practice.  It is local officials who can best govern their own counties.  Let’s tell Augusta that local authority is the best authority.