One Trick Pony



Ah, to be young again.  Why the nostalgia you ask?  Is it the season, the holly and the berries?  No, quite frankly, it’s the nuts, the fruitcakes and the bologna that has me wandering down memory lane.  Specifically, I remember a trip as a boy to the fabled Santa’s Village in Jefferson, N.H.

There I stood entranced by the jerk-stop movements of the animatronics elves as their mouths squeaked and groaned in motion only a half-step behind the lyrics they were supposed to be singing.  It was a wonderful mechanical, robotic choir singing the great songs of yuletide, clanging and grinding each painful note for their young breathless audience.  One song, I particularly remember was a song by an elf, who was an Elvis impersonator, named, yes, …Elfis.  There is a rumor that the originator of that idea was also the engineer behind the ObamaCare site, but that’s just a rumor.

Elfis, yes, Elfis “sang” his version of “Blue Christmas”.  The lyrics being “I’lla hava aha bluuuuu Christmaaaass without me,” much to the laughter of those of us in the audience. Why is this very odd and strange memory coming back to this columnist?  Well, it was prompted by some very odd and strange behavior coming from our old friends, the Democrats.

You see Democrats are, if anything, consistent – the one trick pony.  No matter the situation, no matter the problem, and no matter the event, it is really all about them.   So I have decided to start a yearly tradition like none other.  Inspired by the photogenic leader of the Democrat Party, I hereby announce the First Inaugural Presentation of The Maine Conservative Voice Selfie Awards.


The First and Magnanimous Selfie goes to the Selfie-and-Chief himself, Barack Obama.  There is not a camera you don’t like and not a moment that shouldn’t be about you.  Thanks, Mr. President, for being our inspiration.


A Dopey Selfie to the people of South Africa who used the funeral of a revered leader to boo the U.S. President, George W. Bush, who worked with Mandela to initiate the PEPFAR program, and spent millions to eradicate aids in South Africa, and then cheering the U.S. President, Barack Obama, who defunded the PEPFAR program and cut millions of dollars to aids research worldwide.


A Regal Selfie to Maine’s own monarch, Angus King, who is showing his “independence” to Mainers by joining a Democrat taskforce, emphasis on force, to “sell” ObamaCare to the people, because whether you want it or not, Obamadoesn’tCare.  He also voted with Democrats to kill the filibuster and violate the rules of Democracy.  He also doesn’t seem to mind that his windmill conglomerate now has a waiver from Obamadoesn’tCare to kill Bald Eagles, the National Bird.  It’s always been about the King, hasn’t it?


A Wholelotta Selfie goes to the one and only Justin Alfond.  There have been so many selfie moments in the mystical reign of the Senate President, but the grandest of all must be his most recent claim that the Democrats are responsible for paying the hospitals back, not the Governor.  Wow!   Other Selfie moments include blocking a bill to aid victims of sex trafficking because it wasn’t an emergency, but promoting his bill for wine tasting because it was…?


A Wingman Selfie to House Speaker Mark Eves for being Alfond’s partner in crime and pushing for MaineCare expansion, while a company he represents will directly benefit from those monies.


A “Wha..?” Selfie goes to N.H. Representative, Ann Kuster, who didn’t want to talk about Benghazi because she was there to talk about the Middle East.  She also receives a complimentary geography class from the local fourth graders.


A “Whaaat?!!” Selfie to Maine State Representative Brian Bolduc who sent an expletive laced email to announce, in no uncertain terms, that truck drivers do not have brains.  As a former truck driver myself, I am so pleased to announce he will receive, in addition to his selfie, a complimentary blast of the air horn every time a truck driver passes his house.


A “What the…?” Selfie to the Maine Democrat Party for sitting by silently while a member of your Party railed against and insulted the hardworking people of Maine.  Your silence was deafening. You waited to hear what your advisors and strategists had to say before doing the right thing and standing up for the people of Maine?  Once again, to the Alfond led Maine Democrats, thanks for absolutely nothing. It’s all about you and your selfies, isn’t it?

3 comments on “One Trick Pony

  1. I like list-based posts, and yours was clever and enjoyable to read. A couple of very minor corrections and two cents worth of tactical advice:

    Benghazi isn’t in the Middle East. Sorry. Yes, Arabs, Islamic, hate Israel and all that. Libya is still considered North Africa by both geographers and politicians. The only African country lying within the boundaries of the Middle East is Egypt. She still should have agreed to talk about it, since that was the agenda of the questioner. She could have pointed out how off-topic it was, and still answered.

    EVERY President since JFK has been whichever one came across better on camera. TVQ affects more voting choices than policy positions. Obama also fits that profile, but it’s because there have been no exceptions since the advent of TV. If you haven’t read Marshall McLuhan on this topic, just go back over the presidential candidates since 1960. The “selfiest” always wins.

    Now for the unsolicited advice. If you insist on using a negatively coded term like “Democrat party” instead of “Democratic party”, your readers and those you wish to debate will assume you lack education, and are not open to intellectual exchange. Speaking for myself, I love a good debate, and would therefore never use a term like that or “Tea Bagger” etc. I don’t believe those who hold views opposite mine are “one trick ponies”. Everyone grows, learns and changes. Things you support and believe in at one age won’t hold for the rest of your life.

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