Seashells by the Seashore

The Roman Army was gathered on the banks of the English Channel poised to invade Britannia. What happened next is one of the most perplexing moments in world history. The Emperor Caligula ordered his troops to dismount and pick up seashells in their tunics and helmets. These he brought back as trophies to Rome as spoils for conquering the sea.

Caligula’s brief four-year reign was as complicated as trying to find the facts of his reign, a convoluted web of paranoia, perversion, and psychosis. It highlights Rome’s political decline from within, as it still pursued its empirical conquest of the world. Caligula did much to accelerate this decline, due in large part to his inability to except criticism, his broadening of the Emperor’s powers, and the brutal obsession with his own selfish ambition.

Many are troubled by the direction our great Nation is headed. Recent events have only magnified the trepidation that so many feel. With all that faces the United States and the gravity of world events, our President seems to be content with picking seashells and conquering the ocean.

Two horrific tragedies have occurred in the War on Terror recently, which shocked and appalled us all. One was the burning alive of brave young Jordanian pilot. The other was the murder of a young humanitarian aid worker from the United States, Kayla Mueller. The leader of Jordan, King Abdullah, responded by strapping on a flight suit to lead a squadron of F-16s on strike against ISIS. The leader of the United States responded by strapping on a selfie-stick and taking pictures of himself, sticking his tongue out at himself, in a mirror. The White House posted these pictures, as they put it, to present an approachable, softer side of the President.

Theodore Roosevelt once accused the sitting President in his day of having the “backbone of an éclair”. I’m not sure what Roosevelt would have thought of this President’s backbone and I’m not sure how much the White House thinks they need to soften the President, but I think we have reached invertebrate status in the Oval Office. Yes, we may have found Darwin’s missing link.

Sarcasm aside, when this President cannot find the courage to admit that twenty-one Egyptian Christians publicly martyred for their faith are… Christians, then there is no leader in Washington. When the Egyptians respond to this gruesome mass murder with an air strike and our President goes golfing, there is no leader in Washington.   President Obama is transfixed and obsessed with the seashells on the seashore and it is destroying our Nation.

One Trick Pony



Ah, to be young again.  Why the nostalgia you ask?  Is it the season, the holly and the berries?  No, quite frankly, it’s the nuts, the fruitcakes and the bologna that has me wandering down memory lane.  Specifically, I remember a trip as a boy to the fabled Santa’s Village in Jefferson, N.H.

There I stood entranced by the jerk-stop movements of the animatronics elves as their mouths squeaked and groaned in motion only a half-step behind the lyrics they were supposed to be singing.  It was a wonderful mechanical, robotic choir singing the great songs of yuletide, clanging and grinding each painful note for their young breathless audience.  One song, I particularly remember was a song by an elf, who was an Elvis impersonator, named, yes, …Elfis.  There is a rumor that the originator of that idea was also the engineer behind the ObamaCare site, but that’s just a rumor.

Elfis, yes, Elfis “sang” his version of “Blue Christmas”.  The lyrics being “I’lla hava aha bluuuuu Christmaaaass without me,” much to the laughter of those of us in the audience. Why is this very odd and strange memory coming back to this columnist?  Well, it was prompted by some very odd and strange behavior coming from our old friends, the Democrats.

You see Democrats are, if anything, consistent – the one trick pony.  No matter the situation, no matter the problem, and no matter the event, it is really all about them.   So I have decided to start a yearly tradition like none other.  Inspired by the photogenic leader of the Democrat Party, I hereby announce the First Inaugural Presentation of The Maine Conservative Voice Selfie Awards.


The First and Magnanimous Selfie goes to the Selfie-and-Chief himself, Barack Obama.  There is not a camera you don’t like and not a moment that shouldn’t be about you.  Thanks, Mr. President, for being our inspiration.


A Dopey Selfie to the people of South Africa who used the funeral of a revered leader to boo the U.S. President, George W. Bush, who worked with Mandela to initiate the PEPFAR program, and spent millions to eradicate aids in South Africa, and then cheering the U.S. President, Barack Obama, who defunded the PEPFAR program and cut millions of dollars to aids research worldwide.


A Regal Selfie to Maine’s own monarch, Angus King, who is showing his “independence” to Mainers by joining a Democrat taskforce, emphasis on force, to “sell” ObamaCare to the people, because whether you want it or not, Obamadoesn’tCare.  He also voted with Democrats to kill the filibuster and violate the rules of Democracy.  He also doesn’t seem to mind that his windmill conglomerate now has a waiver from Obamadoesn’tCare to kill Bald Eagles, the National Bird.  It’s always been about the King, hasn’t it?


A Wholelotta Selfie goes to the one and only Justin Alfond.  There have been so many selfie moments in the mystical reign of the Senate President, but the grandest of all must be his most recent claim that the Democrats are responsible for paying the hospitals back, not the Governor.  Wow!   Other Selfie moments include blocking a bill to aid victims of sex trafficking because it wasn’t an emergency, but promoting his bill for wine tasting because it was…?


A Wingman Selfie to House Speaker Mark Eves for being Alfond’s partner in crime and pushing for MaineCare expansion, while a company he represents will directly benefit from those monies.


A “Wha..?” Selfie goes to N.H. Representative, Ann Kuster, who didn’t want to talk about Benghazi because she was there to talk about the Middle East.  She also receives a complimentary geography class from the local fourth graders.


A “Whaaat?!!” Selfie to Maine State Representative Brian Bolduc who sent an expletive laced email to announce, in no uncertain terms, that truck drivers do not have brains.  As a former truck driver myself, I am so pleased to announce he will receive, in addition to his selfie, a complimentary blast of the air horn every time a truck driver passes his house.


A “What the…?” Selfie to the Maine Democrat Party for sitting by silently while a member of your Party railed against and insulted the hardworking people of Maine.  Your silence was deafening. You waited to hear what your advisors and strategists had to say before doing the right thing and standing up for the people of Maine?  Once again, to the Alfond led Maine Democrats, thanks for absolutely nothing. It’s all about you and your selfies, isn’t it?